The “Good Enough” Mindset: Why Chasing Your Best Life Is Making You Miserable, and How to Find Peace in the Imperfect

I want to tell you a story. It’s about a friend of mine—we’ll call her Priya. Priya has what many would call “the perfect life.” A great job in tech, a beautiful apartment in Bangalore, she even does yoga every morning and posts stunning photos of her weekend treks. On paper, she’s winning at life. But a few months ago, she called me, her voice cracking. “I feel like a fraud,” she said. “I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do to be ‘my best self,’ but I’m exhausted. I’m just so tired of pretending I’m happy all the time.”

Priya’s story isn’t unique. It’s the silent epidemic of our time. We’ve been told our entire lives that the goal is to be “the best version of ourselves.” To hustle harder, optimize our routines, live our “best lives.” This message is everywhere—from self-help gurus to our social media feeds. We see perfectly curated photos of flawless bodies, serene meditation sessions, and thriving careers. And we feel this immense pressure to measure up.

But what if I told you that this relentless pursuit of perfection isn’t leading to happiness? What if it’s actually the very thing that’s making us miserable?

My research—and more importantly, my own messy, imperfect life—has shown me something profound: true peace isn’t found at the finish line of a perfect life. It’s found in the quiet, courageous decision to embrace a “good enough” mindset.

The Tyranny of the “Best Life”

For years, I’ve studied shame, vulnerability, and courage. I’ve interviewed thousands of people about their deepest fears and aspirations. The one thing that keeps coming up? Comparison. It’s the thief of joy, as the old saying goes, but it’s more than that. It’s the primary fuel for the “chasing your best life” machine.

We’re all running on this endless treadmill. We’re told to find our “purpose,” but then we’re constantly measuring that purpose against everyone else’s highlight reels.

Think about it. We don’t just want a job; we want to be at the top of our field. We don’t just want to be fit; we want a six-pack and to run a marathon. We don’t just want a nice home; we want a house that looks like it belongs on a home decor magazine cover.

This isn’t about setting goals or striving for progress. That’s a good and healthy thing. This is about the insidious belief that our current self is somehow deficient. That we are not enough, right here, right now. It’s the feeling that if we just push a little harder, work a little more, and fix a few more flaws, then we’ll be happy.

Here’s a gut check: How many times have you put off joy or peace because you felt you hadn’t “earned” it yet? “I’ll relax after I finish this project.” “I’ll be happy when I lose those ten pounds.” We are constantly postponing our own peace in the name of a future, better, “best” self.

And the data backs this up. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found a direct link between perfectionism and mental health issues. Perfectionism is a significant predictor of depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. The constant pressure to meet impossibly high standards takes a heavy toll. The pursuit of perfection isn’t a path to happiness; it’s a direct route to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

What “Good Enough” Actually Means

Now, before you think I’m telling you to give up on your dreams and live a life of mediocrity, let’s get one thing straight. The “good enough” mindset is not about settling. It’s about freedom. It’s about releasing the crippling weight of perfectionism and making space for joy and authenticity.

Think of it this way: a “perfect” life is a fantasy. It doesn’t exist. There are no people who have it all, all the time. Everyone has moments of doubt, messy relationships, and bad hair days. The “good enough” mindset is the brave act of looking at your life—your home, your body, your career—and saying, “This is imperfect, and it is beautiful. And I am enough.”

It’s about the courage to show up in your life as you are, not as you think you should be.

I remember once trying to bake a cake for my daughter’s birthday. I’d seen a perfect, multi-tiered masterpiece online and was determined to replicate it. Three hours later, I had a collapsed, lopsided mess of a cake. I was so upset I almost threw it away. My daughter walked in, took one look at it, and started laughing. “Mom, it’s a disaster!” she said, and then she gave me the biggest hug. “It’s a funny disaster. It’s perfect.”

That lopsided cake became a symbol for me. It was good enough. The love that went into it was what mattered, not the flawless execution. The same applies to our lives.

How to Practice the “Good Enough” Mindset

This is not a checklist of things to do. It’s a shift in how you see the world and yourself. It’s a practice, a muscle you have to build.

Acknowledge and Validate the Exhaustion: The first step is to simply acknowledge how tired you are. Say it out loud, write it down. “I’m exhausted from trying to be perfect.” There is profound power in naming the feeling. It’s the first step to letting it go.
Unfollow Perfection: Take a hard look at your social media feeds. Are they making you feel inspired or inadequate? Be ruthless. Unfollow accounts that make you feel less-than. Replace them with accounts that show honest, messy, and real life. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your progress, not your perfection.
Embrace the “80% Rule”: I live by this. You don’t have to give 100% to everything, all the time. Sometimes, giving 80% is more than enough. You might not hit the gym six days a week, but three days is amazing. You might not write a perfect report, but a well-written, “good enough” one is better than a perfect one that never gets finished. This rule gives you back your time and energy.
Redefine Success: Success isn’t just about big wins and grand achievements. It’s about showing up. It’s about a messy moment of connection with a loved one. It’s about taking a deep breath when you’re stressed. It’s about trying and failing, and having the courage to try again. Start celebrating the small, imperfect victories.
Practice Self-Compassion: This is perhaps the hardest and most important step. We are often our own worst critics. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. If a friend told you they were exhausted from trying to be perfect, you wouldn’t tell them to try harder. You’d tell them it’s okay to rest. Extend that same grace to yourself.

The most courageous thing you can do today is to stand up and say, “This is who I am. This is where I am. And this is enough.” You don’t need a perfectly curated life to be worthy of joy, love, and peace. You are already enough.

So, let’s start a revolution. A quiet, gentle revolution of “good enough.” Let’s build a world where we celebrate authenticity over perfection, and where we find our deepest peace not in the grand achievements, but in the messy, imperfect, and beautiful journey of being human.